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:iconr0butt:R0BUTT posted a status
I'm so...??? Lowkey venty thing down below but tbh I'm just angry... feel free to read if you want i'm so pissed off 
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So like... I'm in my room a lot. And I live on the country side. There is nothing here. It cost me money to get into town by bus. I cannot bike there cause it's too far. All my friends are away on things rn, outta the country n whatnot. And I want to draw and improve over the summer to get better when school start again. 

And my parents think something is wrong with me, all out of fucking nowhere. Like they havent said shit this whole break other than "god u gotta go outside" and i say "ok" n go for a ride on the bike or take a walk or go out jogging. Nbd. And now, my dad ranted like "All you do is stay inside and you dont do anything at all you just stare at your computer and eat and sleep and dont do shit?? Are you ok mentally???"
 
I had just gotten back from a 1h bike ride. I was out biking with my mom the other fkn day. I sat in our garden and drank chocolate fkn milk. I'm so fkn at peace rn. I feel lonely, yes, I want to see my friends, yes, but I'm ok? I understand that I cant see them all the fkn time. like rn. People being away rn is like, totally normal cause it's vacation season and people got shit to do 24/7

And I was like "ok??" at my dad but like, I didnt think that much of it cause like, he is wrong, but theres no use arguing when he is angry so i always wait for him to calm down before i say shit
And then mom comes rushing up to my room to see if it's clean and that my curtains are drawn away n i was like ????? n my room IS clean n theres sunlight in my room, so she just nodded n walked downstairs again n i just ... ok...?

And then, dad comes to me n says "sorry i got angry but its cause we care abt u etc" uknow the drill. N i say "it's ok, i'll talk to u later"
So later (just now) I walk downstairs to grab smthn to eat. I haven't eaten all fkn day except a plum this morning. And my mom comes to me like "are you ok?" n i just "yeah" n she just "I dont believe you." n i b like ???? wat.... n she just "I dont think youre ok. I think ur messed up mentally. answer me honestly, are you ok??" n i just "yes????" and she b grabbing my plate out of my hand and says "if youre ok, then you dont deserve this food." and I was like, ok wtf, enough?? So i washed my hands without saying anything and went upstairs again like fuck the food wtf r they doing ????? n then mom came to my room like "i dont think ur ok. ur room is chaos (its not??) youre isolated from light (i'm not?????) and you dont do anything. you're welcome downstairs to eat but you need to tell us what's wrong." n im like ???????????????? 

I'm not going downstairs to eat outta spite now. Fuck the food. They're being weird as fuck and fuck you if youre gonna be like "you dont deserve this food" then fine, dont feed me then, y dont u kick me outta the house while ur at it then?? Like "lmao I think youre depressed and im gonna forbid you to eat our food until you tell me whats wrong" ?????? fuck you???? Theres nothing wrong with me right now, I'm 100% fine, a little lonely, yes, wanna do shit and have fun??? ofc damn fkn hell i want to see the people i love but boo hoo poor me ?? I can still be fine even if theres nothing to do. And i dont wanna go for walks every fkn day n see the exact same places every day. N i dont wanna waste money to go to town just to sit there n do things i might as well do at my room.  so fuck all this and I'mma talk to them later, just w t  f....... 

Devious Comments

:iconbaboushe:
Baboushe Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2016  Hobbyist General Artist
*pats u on the shoulder*
I swear this happens to me a whole lot.
I pass a lot of my day like outside in our garden but my parents are always like "u stay too much inside. Go take some fresh air" but like I was there seconds ago???then they tell me that I need to see people outside the whole frickin house but like all my friends are on vacation and the people they want me too see are just not people that I want to pass my day with.
And expecially this summer I've gave myself the goal to finish a sketchbook of 96 pgs
and in order to finish it I need to draw almost 5-4 pgs per day and this task takes me my whoooole day
and then my parents think im crazy and my mom literally wanted to stop drawing because "it was making me anxious and nervous" and that I got rly isolated from the rest of the world because of drawing :/ like if drawing the only thing that keeps me sane in life was stressing me
But like wtf I cant do anything here. The place where im passing my summer is super hot and like yesterday it was literally 49 almost 50 degrees Celcius but like DO U WANT ME TO BURN OUTSIDE
GET SKIN CANCER OR SOME SHIT LIKE THAT!!? And there is no wifi 50% of the time of COURSE I WANT TO PASS MY TIME DRAWING LIKE THATS A PRODUCTIVE THING TO DO COMPARED TO MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS WHO SLEEP ALL THE FKNG DAY
WTHEFUCKINSHIT
Sorry i wrote too much but this like really aimed my heart :'^)
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:iconoimayo:
oimayo Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2016  Hobbyist Writer
Ohh.. ORZ I get something similar ish?
My parents just don't understand computers enough so as an outsider it looks weird to them to see what looks like me just 'sitting there' when I could be doing a gazillion productive things online. Could it be your parents are like that too ? I dunno?

Good on you for spending time outside and biking etc. :) Hopefully it is just a phase and they will realize you are okay.
Reply
:iconspacepunkprince:
SpacepunkPrince Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2016  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Uhg unfortunately once people make up their minds about your state of mind it's hard to change their opinion, because anything you say to the contrary is a "symptom" of whatever they believe it's wrong with you. (I get it to I'm so sorry you have to deal with it)

Your best bet would be to show/tell them an edited version of this once they've let it go for a bit, even writing it down for them to actually read since they don't seem to listen very well. Other than that, I don't know your family well enough to have another suggestion..... I'm sorry dude ;;
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:icondustyundies:
DustyUndies Featured By Owner Jul 31, 2016  Student General Artist
//lays on you

AAAA i get this constantly too.
Not everyone wants to spend a fortune to go to town when there's no one to meet and nothing to see. O(-< 
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:iconr0butt:
R0BUTT Featured By Owner Aug 1, 2016  Student Digital Artist
exactly.... and to go on the same walks and same bike ride every day isn't rly my thing either... so I'm kind of outta options here //lies dead
it just pisses me off that they blow up like this out of nowhere, over nothing. 
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:icondustyundies:
DustyUndies Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2016  Student General Artist
yeah TT u TT I'm not really one with bugs and stuff. 
hmn, do they know about your DA? ; o ; or do they literally think you just do nothing?
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:iconr0butt:
R0BUTT Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2016  Student Digital Artist
They know I make videos and such! but when they ask me what im doing and i say that I draw, it's like "ok theyre doing nothing basically" :/ 
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:icondustyundies:
DustyUndies Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2016  Student General Artist
Oh, o n o my parents are like that with some subjects, I think the difference in generations and technology it's hard to see why drawing means alot to us. 
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